Sarah Paling

Since Sarah Palin has clearly declared a war on the letter "g," I've decided that her name probably is really Paling, and she just drops the "g." So from now on, she's Sarah Paling.

My mystification of this woman seems endless. Not only am I mystified that she was chosen for the second highest office in the country - I am mystified that she was ever elected into political office at all. I am beginning to believe strongly in something I'm calling the Folksy Force.

I thought George W. was a perfect example of FF, but I'm being shown there are some with whom the F-Force is even stronger. Sarah Paling's hillbilly-midi-chlorian rates are through the roof. I do, however, sense much fear in her, so it's clear she's one with the Dark Side.

I truly cannot understand the appeal of a world leader that is "just like us." I cannot understand the desire to elect someone who cannot pronounce nuclear, someone who speaks colloquially even in the most formal of situations, and someone who has trouble forming a coherent sentence when asked anything with which there is not complete familiarity. And worst of all, someone who gives "shout outs" and winks at the camera during a Vice Presidential Debate as if it were the Nickelodeon Kids' Choice Awards. (And if it was, I don't think Sarah would be accepting an award. I can only assume other 6 year-olds share my son's extreme dislike of her. I'm so proud of him!)

I truly cannot understand either the appeal of a leader you could fart in front of without embarrassment or the resistance to an intellectual leader. Perhaps people aren't hiring a leader. Perhaps they are merely hiring a representative. Not someone to forge ahead, bringing innovation and inspiration to our country's government, but someone who can show the rest of the world what the "Average American" is most like. And sadly, I'm beginning to believe that the average American really is a beer-drinking, alphabet-belching, gun-toting, word-butchering hillbilly.

Of course, I'm just an elitist, so my opinion isn't worth much to the electorate, anyway.