The Value of Life, Part 1

When did I stop being God's gift?

People often say children are a blessing from God. Well, I was a child once, and therefore a blessing from God, right? So, at exactly what point did I cease to be a blessing from God and became something less? When did my life begin to have less value than that of a child?

The attitude that the life of a child is more valuable than the life of an adult is a prevalent one. It's a common belief that in raising our children, we must forgo our needs, we must sacrifice everything and anything for the “good” of our children. (“Good” is in parentheses here because I question whether all of the sacrifices made are actually to the benefit the child.) We’re pressured to make every decision with our child’s best interest in mind, we’re called selfish if we dare do things that are just for us. People stay in lousy marriages “for the children,” people don’t spend money on things for themselves so their children can have nicer toys, people put family time over “me” time and their marriages. Every day, people sacrifice their own happiness for their children’s.

This all sounds rather irreverent, I know. It's probably important to note, before I go any further, that I would die for my children. I make lots of sacrifices for them, just like the next parent. I made lots of sacrifices just to bring them into existence. I will continue to make sacrifices for them, and in no way am I saying children do not have value or that they aren't worth putting in front of ourselves.

I would die for my children – but not because their lives are worth more than mine.

Societally speaking, my life has more value than that of a child. At the very least, my value is quantifiable where a child’s is not. I contribute services and tax dollars to the greater good. I have more knowledge and a more highly-developed grasp of the social mores that are essential to the function of our society. The only value a child has in society is potential. Certainly, that potential is limitless - but while each child has the potential to cure cancer, each child also has the potential to be a serial killer. And who says my potential is expired just because I'm an adult? At this point in my life, I have just as much potential to cure cancer as my six year-old does.

And so, as far as contribution to society goes, as far as today goes, I am vastly more valuable than a child.

I find fault with the notion that we must put our lives on hold for the sake of our children. Suppose I were to sacrifice my happiness, be a martyr for my child, to help him grow to be a successful, happy, healthy and well-adjusted adult...why? So that he can then sacrifice himself -- the self I helped make by sacrificing myself -- for his child? So he can set aside that success and happiness I helped foster for his child ... so that his child can set aside that success and happiness for his child?

It’s like the sign I saw at a Renaissance Faire a few weekends ago: “Free Beer Tomorrow.” “Hello! Yesterday I saw a sign there would be free beer today!” “Oho, sadly, the free beer is tomorrow.”

I’m absolutely going to invest a large chunk of myself in helping my children become happy, healthy, successful, well-adjusted adults. But I’m also going to enjoy my free beer today.