When reflecting upon the disaster that was my first marriage, and saying things like, "I wish I had never met that douchenozzle," I am inevitably met with, "But then you wouldn't have your son."
I really dislike that argument.
No, I would not have my son. But I wouldn't know any better. Just like right now I don't know what it's like to be married to Johnny Depp, be a neurosurgeon, or what a peanut butter and pickle sandwich tastes like - all of which I may have experienced had I chosen different things in my life. I love my son, but it would be a fallacy to believe I would miss him if I never had him in the first place.
The only good, persuasive argument against going back and un-meeting my husband I can find is this: I am happy. I am truly contented in my life, very close to fulfilled, and thinking about the state of my self and my life right now makes me smile.
Of course, there is the chance that, had I never met the narcissist who will plague my life until my son is eighteen, I would still be happy with whatever life I ended up with on that path. But there is a chance that I wouldn't.
And so, it is a sure bet to continue to live the life I have made for myself, even with the regret of those four years spent completely ignoring my better judgment, and not taking the risk of building that time machine I've been drawing up, returning to the past, and preventing my fateful first encounter with Captain Conceit.
I'll take happy for sure over possibly happy with a 50% chance of regrets any day.
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There's a theory that whenever a minute particle needs to make a choice (go right or left, go north or south, go positive or negative) that BOTH choices are made and the reality splits into two realities. So every nanosecond, reality is splitting into billions of different realities. In fact, by this point, we have so many realities, it's near impossible for our human brains to fathom. So, there are close to infinite realities out there where you never married your ex-husband. And there are infinitely many where you stayed with him. And there are infinitely many where you have the same exact life you have now (except you wore a pink dress today or you got a flat tire or one leaf on one tree was in a different place). So, really, there ARE yous out there who didn't meet and/or marry your ex.
Sweet, next time my mom complains about the size of my waistline, I'll just tell her to go visit one of the infinite number of skinny Kristas out there in alternate realities!
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